Windsucking Gremlin - [Gremlin]

Windsucking Gremlin - [Aviation Gremlins] - [latin: Ozone Gremlinicus]

• About this Gremlin: a variety of plump, spherical gremlin that floats through the ozone (15km↑) and lower altitudes, bobbing along slowly like a dirigible (he too is full of 'hot air.') This pest enjoys "sucking the wind from under your wings" inhaling sharply to cause sudden 'bumps' to pilots who have been soaring along: if you've ever experienced sudden extreme turbulence in the air (or on the sea!) then you can bet that Windsucking Gremlins are to blame!

• History: The 'Windsucking gremlin' was earliest recorded in 'Gremlin Americanus' [by Eric Solane, 1942] based on true stories with quotes from pilots Eric knew & worked for, this entry includes correspondence from Lt.Commander Beckwith Havens*, the entry goes as follows:

"The Wind Sucking gremlin used to get a great kick out of frightening people and making them feel as if they where on a wild-riding roller-coaster. by sucking the air from under airplanes this gremlin made them "Bump" as if hitting "air pockets"

Lately the windsucking gremlin is pleased just to hover over cool water and green forests. whenever a ship passes over water or green forests I falls and bumps repeatedly, and you can often hear the gremlin laughing like all get-out.

"Dear Eric - When we flew over the old time rarest the W.S. Gremlins played havoc with us, but they dont seem to bother the modern planes we fly now. Probably they are too busy making it tough for the Japanazis – Regards, Lt.Commander Beckwith Havens U.S.N.R."

[*LT.Commander Beckwith "Becky" Havens (1890-1969) was one of the earliest aviators and also the first Aeroplane salesman for the Curtiss Aeroplane Company at the age of twenty in 1910! [This was only eight years after the Wright bro's first successful flight in 1903!] By World War I, Havens was a naval test pilot and would eventually become the first guardsman to fly on federal status and later earn himself a silver medal of merit. ...It's difficult to say for certain if the quote was actually from the man or if it was just Eric joking around. (at least a couple of the quotes included in erics book are in-fact, genuinely from Erics pilot friends & close aquaintences.) - So, If nothing else: One can at least assume that because Becky learned to fly using some of the earliest biplanes, he'd have at least been well acquainted with the turbulent effects of the Windsucking Gremlin.)]

[Havens in the National Guard in 1912. image/info source.]

What is Interesting is that the Windsucking Gremlin's appearance seems to be a directly inspired reference to the untilted RAF gremlins poem by an 'anonymous bard' which appeared widely in newspapers and aviation magazines from early 1942 onwards... specifically the line about the "Spherical Middle Aged Gremlin who'll spins on your stick like a top [sometimes "stock"]  – the poem appeared in several service magazines (and in newspapers) the true author is unknown, with verses getting added and removed with each reprinting:

"When you're seven miles up in the heavens,
(That's a hell of a lonely spot)
And it's fifty degrees below zero,
Which isn't exactly hot.

When you're frozen blue like your Spitfire,
And your scared a Mosquito pink.
When you're thousands of miles from nowhere,
And there's nothing below but the drink.

It's then that you'll see the Gremlins,
Green and gamboge and gold,
Male and female and neuter,
Gremlins both young and old.

It's no good trying to dodge them,
The lessons you learnt on the Link
Won't help you evade a Gremlin,
Though you boost and you dive and you jink.

White one's will wiggle your wing tips,
Male one's will muddle your maps,
Green one's will guzzle your glycol,
Females will flutter your flaps.

Pink one's will perch on your perspex,
And dance pirouettes on your prop,
There's a spherical middle-aged Gremlin,
Who'll spin on your stick like a top.

They'll freeze up your camera shutters,
They'll bite through your aerilon wires,
They'll bend and they'll break and they'll batter,
They'll insert toasting forks into your tyres..."

--The action which this 'spherical gremlin' takes in the poem is best known among aviators as 'stalling & spinning' (also known as "BUMP"-ing as Solane put it.) - In a nutshell, its a gremlin which likes to cause extreme turbulence. A similar phenomenon can be felt on boats at sea as well (which explains the second paragraph.) - if we look at other gremlin lore from the time, gremlins who have 'aged' a bit tend to hang around in lower altitudes and mess with tools, army bases & grounded aircraft.

• Similar behaving gremlins: A similar "Fat Gremlin" which "parks himself on the tail end of the plane" was also recorded in "Gremlins on the Job" by Judy Varga [1943] this fat gremlin is simply said to be "so heavy that planes cant take off when its aboard." Although it behaves similarly, because its 'heavy' I'd say its likely a different class of gremlin overall, but i'll list it here too as i cant figure out a better spot for it and i dont care to illustrate the same idea twice.

[the fat gremlin from the cover image]

[an article about Miss Vargas Book Febuary 1943]

• See also: Gremlinology, Stratogremlin.

Art Sticker by @samkalensky part of my Gremlinology series of stickers, Keeping this lucky sticker inside of your plane or on your luggage will help with smooth & safe flight! sthe perfect gift for any pilot or travel bug.