Pauls Pigs - [fearsome critter]

Pauls pigs - [Fearsome Critters] - [latin: Porkus Gigas ] - (aka: Log hogs, Bunyans Pigs, Sasuage-Pigs, Non-euclidean porkers.)

• About this critter:  Ol' Paul Bunyans prime pork animals which where kept & tended to by Brimstone Bill, Pork was a very important food article at Ol' Pauls camps so large droves of these swine where kept handy, Bill kept them fed well on a diet of prune pits & buffalo milk, they lived comfortably enough in their luxury log pens, but these pigs where irritable & did not like to keep in one place! (Whats worse is that they where as smart as they where fat, some say that perhaps spoke to each other in pig-Latin!) as such, unfortunately, their porky intelligence caused an issue, they where almost always certain to burrow out from under the log pen and get away into the woods (likely to only to be eaten by a vilias county tiger.) – So in an inebriated state, Brimstone bill and the seven axe men each took a swig of some "Hudnuts budge" and they built a crooked, impossible near-non-euclidean enclosure the likes of which man could not imagine or recreate even if they tried! (this was much to Paul's disappointment, he just wanted an ordinary pen.) - Despite the displeasure of seeing such an ugly thing every day, none the less the same ugly fence held the pigs quite well, the poor porkers could never tell if they where in nor out, left nor right, up nor down of the enclosure! – These massive pigs where made into log-sized-sausage rolls which fed the camps entire crew and workers until they ran out and had to live off of sourdough and gravy.

• History: The yarn about Paul's pigs and Brimstone Bills Crazy enclosure aka "The Cazy Fence" was earliest published by Charles E Brown - [Sometime between 1921 & 1942] - Naturally, Charles story was further elaborated on & embellished by others over time and found its way into the popular Bunyan lore.

Incidentally about the liquor they drank: "Hudnuts Budge" is actually handiworker slang referring to the nearly impossible task of removing a broken lug nut or perhaps a stripped screw! – in other words, the men screwed up building a fence, so badly that they accidentally created something improbable! – One can also read more about brimstone bill and his various exploits at pauls camp in "Brimstone Bill" [1942] 

Laugheeds "Marvelous exploits of pual bunyan" [1922] also mentions that "The Seven Axemen were hearty eaters & that a portion of bacon was one side of a 1600-pound pig." and that "The sausages where so large that they took up four horse logging sleds to load them onto the griddle for breakfast." meaning that these pigs where also probably nearly the size of a truck!! 

[an illustration of "the crazy fence" from "Legends of Paul Bunyan" 1947] – (I could go on about the billy goat also mentioned in that chapter, but i'll do so another time.) 

Another story of an "Impossibly Large Bunyan pig" is the yarn about "Porkums" who was apparently the little chore boys favourite sweet little pet pig; it was earliest briefly mentioned as arriving as "little and lame" to the camp in James Stevens, "Paul Bunyan." [1925] – 'Porkums' story was later elaborated on further in "Tall Timber Tales" by Dell J. McCormick [1939] - in the revised story; Porkums is fed a diet of "prune pits and buffalo milk" and grows so large & fat that it can no longer be contained in a barn (literally eats himself out of home) as such, it sadly becomes breakfast, lunch and dinner for the insatiable loggers much to the tiny shanty boys dismay.

[porkums illustration from tall timber tales]

Yet another "Bunyan-pig" which I've drawn & covered before is of course "Griddle Greaser Pete." [Art Childs, 1922] – i hope the two dont get overly conflated, but given the Axemens appetites and rowdy natures; I'm almost certain that such a mistake happened at least once. Pete is truly a traitor to all of pig-kind.

• Beyond the folklore: On a closing note; the fattest pig to ever exist actually did weigh 1600 pounds! (his name was "Big Norm" & he was from NYC.) – So, i suppose its possible? – during my research I also spotted across various Wisconsin newspapers from the time 1910s-40s which mention "unnaturally large agressive wild bores" as "PAUL BUNYAN'S PIGS" – in the modern day, we might refer to similar "cryptid-sized' unnaturally large boars as "Hog-zillas!" though sadly these days they are much more rare.

[an article from 1927 about a wild 900 pound boar]

[1936: newspapers.com]

Naturally my sticker illustration was inspired by Compton Vearneys - "Pair of pigs" 1850; perhaps better known today as "BROTHER MAY I HAVE SOME OATS?"

[Art Sticker & Deep-Dive by @samkalensky part of my fearsome critters collection of stickers]